[00:00:00] Melissa: Today's podcast is brought to you by you. You guys, I get lots of messages or conversations with clients that talk about being overwhelmed, stressed out and on the verge of feeling burnt out. You guys, that's not why we started our business is it? That is why I wanted you guys to hear this guest today. She has been a light in my world as I navigate my businesses and being a parent and being all the things to all the other people and just knowing that I'm not alone and re focusing my energy and my thoughts and my vision back to why I started my business in the first place. So I'm super excited for you to share my special guest today, Dr. Tarryn McCarthy. Let's get real.
Welcome back to another episode of brick and mortar visibility podcast. I am super psyched that you're here. For those of you that are brand new. This is a podcast dedicated to brick and mortar visibility. I come in every week to share with you tips, tools, and strategies that I've learned in my business to help you in yours, whether it's mindset or the actual tactical things, or hearing amazing guests that share their story about their business and their struggles. Their marketing and how they do all the things.
Before we launch into today's special guest. I just want to let you know about my outcoming workshop, three visibility strategies you need. As brick and mortar business owners we have this awesome unique opportunity to connect locally as well as online. And I want to share with you three visibility strategies you have to use in your business. So we're going to talk through all the options and by the end of the workshop, you are going to walk away knowing what you personally should work on and implement in your business. So head on over to MsMelissarose.com/freeworkshop to get your spot saved.
Today's podcast guests. I'm super excited for you guys to hear her. I found her online through my podcast app because her title of her podcast was, recommended to me and it's called the business of happiness. And I just thought that is so true. We run business. And we often start out loving our business. Right? Cause usually we start out because we have education or a desire or just passion for what we're doing. But then life comes in, right? And then you have to pay the bills and you have to maybe have employees, which is awesome, but it's another level of management and pulling from our plate. And sometimes we can feel really burnt out, really
tired and our business can start to feel heavy. And then we're thinking, why, why did I start this? Why did I start this when I'm feeling not as good as if I would, if I just got another job, right? So I want to tell you, you're not alone. You're not alone. And we often have to go back to that why of why we started. Dr. Tarryn McCarthy gets it. She has a brick and mortar business. She is an orthodontist. She has a beautiful practice. And she realized after years of building this practice and being very successful, she was burnt out and she had to really regroup and come back to why. So she is bringing that light in a very transparent, authentic way and sharing her story and helping others realize why we started our business and helping us get back to that while still having a thriving business.
So I'm super excited to share with you, Dr. Tarryn McCarthy. She is a gift to us in all the ways. Go check her out. Her link is below and follow her podcast as well. I always listened to her podcasts and leave just feeling inspired and ready to take on my day again. So without further ado, enjoy this lovely interview with the beautiful Dr. Tarryn McCarthy.
Welcome to the brick and mortar visibility podcast, Tarryn McCarthy. It is so great to see you and meet you and talk to you today. Thank you for joining me.

[00:04:15] Tarryn: The pleasure is all mine. I'm so honored to be here. Thank you. Melissa.

[00:04:19] Melissa: We are going to have a great conversation. I know you listeners are going to benefit and learn so much from her as I have by listening to her podcast over the past few months. And just getting nuggets because we are all business owners trying to do all the things, but before we dive into the good stuff, I want you to introduce yourself here and tell us who you are, what you do and who you serve.

[00:04:38] Tarryn: Fabulous. I am Dr. Tarryn McCarthy and I empower people with their smiles in my brick and mortar orthodontic practice. And I empower people with happiness in their business as a business prosperity coach for the business of happiness. And I also have a podcast called the business of happiness podcast, but really the common thread in all of these businesses that I have is just helping people find their happiness and find their value and empower them to live a life of their dreams. Could there be a better job?

[00:05:17] Melissa: So let's talk about your brick and mortar first. Okay. Cause you have that and that's very successful. How many years have you had that business?

[00:05:24] Tarryn: So I actually have had a business, a brick and mortar business since 2002. There was some journeying in there along the way, so different businesses at different times, but I've had a solid brick and mortar since about 2002.

[00:05:39] Melissa: Okay, awesome. You're also a mama.

[00:05:42] Tarryn: I am a three amazing human beings. Yes.

[00:05:45] Melissa: Okay, awesome. What are their ages.
15. Oh my gosh, Melissa. My 15 year old is learning to drive. This is a big deal right now. It's 15, 13, and nine. And I'm sure you would agree. They are my greatest teachers. Oh my God. Them every single day. They're amazing. Amazing humans. So lucky
All right. So tell us a little bit about the journey from you have your orthodontics practice. You still are involved in that. Yes. Yes. Okay. And then deciding to go into coaching of what you do right now.
[00:06:19] Tarryn: Well, I'll tell you a little bit of how this all came about and it really is a fascinating story because I think that so many of your audience members could relate. I dreamt of being a dentist in my twenties, because I love the idea of marrying science and artistry and entrepreneurship and leading a team and the creative process of that and business ownership, all of these things excited me. So it was this beautiful opportunity to marry all those things. And I spent my twenties sticking my nose in a book to just get that dental degree and ignoring my body, my health, my happiness, my family, you know, missed weddings, missed reunions, just really putting my nose to the grindstone, to get to where I was going and graduated from dental school. Scared. In a lot of debt terrified in fact, and thought, well, maybe this isn't fulfilling enough. Let me specialize. And that's when I chose orthodontics. So I strictly straightened teeth. I thought, well, that will bring me happiness because I went into an orthodontic practice once at the, I liked the story and everyone was happy. So in dental offices, people are scared. Lots of people have dental phobia. And so I thought I'd rather like to be in a dental office where everyone's happy. You know, youthful teenagers go to the orthodontist. So I studied my specialty and I graduated and I still felt unfulfilled and thought, oh, it was the entrepreneur part. So let me buy a practice. So I bought a dying old practice from a dying old man. Tried to infuse my magic into it. And man, I was scared. I was scared and constantly chasing the dream and trying to find that moment when I'd finally feel, oh, okay. This feels happy I've been doing this for decades and I'm finally there. And I kept telling myself when I get there, when this happens, when I make this much money, when I finally have this big of a team, when I have this number of patients, and then I thought, oh, maybe I needed a family. So let me try to get pregnant. And the one thing that happens with many people in my profession, when they've put off their health for so long is now I was stuck with infertility. And we tried and tried and at least I had something to focus on. And so I kind of managed through the discomfort of owning a business that was really draining me. And, when I finally had kids, we very quickly got pregnant with the second one. We figured it out very quickly. And now all I did, Melissa was add more stress and overwhelm and expectation and obligation onto me. And I was just so overwhelmed and scared. And I will remember this day. So clearly I literally was in my fancy house with my fancy car because now my business was making money. Had been in it for a few years, I think five or six years now at this point. So it was stable. Had patients. I had a team, I had the beautiful house, a car, the kids finally, I had the fancy dog even, and I looked in the mirror and I didn't even recognize myself. And I was terrified because I didn't know where I'd gone wrong or what I had been doing. I thought I was chasing my dream. I was just trying to do what everyone told me to do. And I was just following that algorithm of success that someone else had created. And I was miserable and after fighting happiness for so long, the next thing I could think to do was to flee. I just had to run. I sold my practice as quickly as I could. I just thought I can't do this. I'm not cut out for this. This isn't me. I'm not capable or I'm not worthy. I told myself so many stories. I almost left my marriage. I just wanted to run. I didn't know what else to do if I could. I think I might, even for a moment have left my kids if I could. That's how scared I was. And I left the state. I just ran and I thought I'm never doing this again.
And that's when started my journey of self discovery, because the one thing I couldn't run away from was myself. And the one thing that was missing in all those decades of my journey was listening to myself and asking myself what's important and deciding for myself what success looks like, not based on what someone else decides, not someone else's algorithm for what a great successful dental practice should be or what a great successful mothers should be, or a great successful lover should be.
But asking myself what that looked like. Along that journey. My brother, my younger brother actually took his life in 2016. And the reason why I mentioned that is because it was such a pivotal moment for me to really ask myself, what's the point, right? What is the point? And the answer that came back to me is.
That spark. That passion that I remembered from when I was in my twenties, that got me excited to do a business, to start a business, to pour my creative juices into something that passion that I had lost along the way. And I thought, well, that's what life is all about is living. Right. That's the meaning of life is to be able to live it and to love it along the way.
And if you're not loving it, then there is no point. And so really on the heels of Douglas as death is when I realized I actually love orthodontics, but now I wanted to do it on my terms. And so within a year of his passing, I started a brand new orthodontic practice from scratch. I didn't want someone else's business model. I didn't want someone else's patients. I didn't want someone else's team. I thought this is do or die. I'm going to start from scratch. I'm going to create it from the ground up based on my values. And that was literally the business plan I had. I sat down and I said, Tarryn, what is important to you? What do you love? What lights you up? What is going to spark that excitement and that passion in you on a daily basis. And I started infusing it in my business plan, in my financial proforma, in every aspect of hiring and the businesses I would associate with and the bank I was going to work with. And I, every time I asked myself, is this in alignment with my integrity and my values? And oh my gosh, things turned around and that's what sparked the business of happiness is because, you know, the interesting thing about dentistry is that we have the highest suicide rate of any other medical profession. Wow. It's terrifying. The depression, alcoholism is very big in our, in our profession. Lots of obviously divorce is very huge in our profession. Indicators of people just being really unhappy.

[00:13:40] Melissa: How do you answer somebody who is successful and has all the things and appears to do really well. And they are not happy. They're like, I don't know what would make me happy. How do you answer that? How do you help them?

[00:13:54] Tarryn: You know, it's such a great question because many people don't know. That's the first question I ask. What does happiness mean to you? And so many women and men as well, but so many of us have put aside happiness for so long. You get out of the habit of feeling happy. It really is a habit of unhappiness. You know, when you, if you've ever had this feeling, when you're not well, or you haven't been exercising and you kind of just fall into this pattern of not feeling terrible, but you never feel great. And then that becomes your new norm. And then when you get healthy, you realize, oh my gosh, that whole time I was so sick. I didn't even know it. I was just putting up with that. That's where I think many people get with their happiness. They don't even realize that they are unhappy because they don't allow themselves the opportunity to feel that joy and that passion, they don't give themselves time. And that's the one aspect that I think so many mompreneurs struggle with is they just feel like they don't have time for their happiness. Number one. And for themselves, and there's this culture right now of self care, self care. And I had one client say to me, oh my God. Now I've got to make time for self care. I don't have time to have a massage or, put that stuff in my calendar. And the one big secret is creating time for yourself. That's it? It doesn't have to be a massage, but every single day, it's like brushing your teeth. You really have to do it every single day. It's a preventative of unhappiness.
It takes sometimes a little bit of trial and error, like, okay, let's try a walk, let's try meditation. Let's try journaling. Let's try sitting in a bathtub. What is it that's going to be for you, but really what it has to be is being confident and courageous enough to be alone with yourself so that you can start tapping back into your intuition because it's that intuitive part of you that has all the answers.

[00:16:01] Melissa: That is so true. You just did a podcast on that and that resonated so much because being alone with your thoughts. And I think that is the scary part. It is for me to just be quiet and listen and not have the distraction, not have the ear buds in, not have the background going on. But also to mompreneurs, the quietness is hard to get, but it's also the time and you alluded to making the time. So then how do you talk to that mompreneur who has the guilt for taking the time to do it.

[00:16:38] Tarryn: Yeah, the guilt is a big one. We knew it so well, we do it so well. And the guilt is one of those things that once again is put on us by stories that we have created for ourselves.
And it's not the truth. Right. And I know that old adage. Put your, your oxygen mask on first so that you can take care of other people. But the truth in it is so valuable. And sometimes we have to think about someone else, and this is how I did it. Like I remember for example, I took care of my body best when I was pregnant because I was doing it for my baby. You know, I was so on point with my nutrition and taking care of myself and my vitamins because I was doing it for my baby. So I think about that often. And I think. Taking time for myself is so important for my children to see, to witness for me to model it for them.

[00:17:34] Melissa: I just trust that I am showing my kids. By eating the way I eat or by saving the way I save, or by working the way I work, and you're doing that by taking care of yourself. So for mamas out there that struggle with that guilt, show them and teach your kids that this is important to being a good human is that you take care of yourself.

[00:17:57] Tarryn: What an amazing gift to give to your daughters. Right?

[00:18:01] Melissa: So, how would you recommend just your tip, your professional tip here tarryn, because I am such an advocate. I am such a believer in this stuff. I have seen it. I have five kids. You guys, if you don't know that my story, I'm a single mom of five kids. I started taking my business seriously when the divorce happened and I had to make time for myself. There was no time, but I had to do it. And I got up at four o'clock back in those days, because that was the only time the kids were quiet and I could work. But I also had that quiet coffee time. If you would have told me, you know, 10 years ago that I'd be getting up at four on my own to do that. I would have laughed at you, but now I wake up there naturally. So for me, it's early, early morning. So what is a great beginner or first step for people to do?

[00:18:52] Tarryn: I mean, I'm a big proponent of 4:30 in the morning, myself. It's quiet. I can watch the sunrise to me that's very spiritual moment for me. The birds are singing the. It's a moment I can find myself and reconnect with myself, but I also found that before I got into meditation and finding quiet for myself, actually with running, because running gave me permission to be away from the kids. I had a race that I was training for or something. And then I was quiet by myself. I was in my head and there was some meditative action of running. So I did long distance running because for me an hour or two hours away allowed me the opportunity to be alone with myself. So once again, I don't think there's one way. But the intention is important. So in other words, I wasn't running with a podcast in my ears, or I wasn't running with a problem to solve. I was running to just be quiet with myself, or when I sit in the mornings, you know, meditation can be messy. Sometimes I can't get into that zone, but the intention is always checking in with me. And giving myself that opportunity to just let everything else go. You know, the one big killer is the cell phones. You know, that's the hardest thing we so easily get bored just out of practice of being quiet and alone with ourselves. And that's the other thing that I think is so important is finding compassion for yourself and forgiveness in this practice. Because if you haven't been doing it for 40 years, it's going to take some time.

[00:20:24] Melissa: A lot of us, we do, we have that phone going all the time or the radio on, or the podcast going, we just need to, take a break from it and just regroup.

[00:20:32] Tarryn: Absolutely. I think just having the intention, even if you just say to yourself this moment, I am just by myself and with myself and I'm just listening to myself.

[00:20:44] Melissa: It really does. All right, guys, I hope you got some great wisdom here from Dr. Tarryn and I have loved your podcast. I've been listening for a while every time I listen, I always end up loving it and I take some nuggets away. I love the mindset stuff because you guys running a business is a marathon. Being a parent is a marathon. Being a partner is a marathon. And so much of this is mindset and we need to take care of ourselves so check out Dr. Taryn's podcast, the business of happiness. It's awesome. as a mompreneur do you have any last words of wisdom for our tribe here?

[00:21:20] Tarryn: I would say. The most important thing is to love yourself. That really is the biggest thing. And sometimes the most difficult thing is that weird. It's sometimes the hardest thing to do, but it's the most important thing because when you've loved yourself, you can do great things. I always say, when you feel good, you can do good. You can do so much more. For your children, for the community, for the people you serve, when you feel great about yourself. And it seems antithetical, it seems selfish, but really that is the most important thing.

[00:21:55] Melissa: So true. So true. I love it. Thank you so much for your time today. This was awesome.

[00:21:59] Tarryn: Great to be here. I'm so grateful to you for the opportunity. And thank you for all you do, Melissa. Of course. I need to just say that I have been following you for so long and I just admire you in everything that you do and thank you for being that inspiration to all of us.

[00:22:15] Melissa: thank you. I appreciate that. Okay, everybody, your job is to go check out her podcast, give her a listen and if you enjoy it, give her a rating as well. We all appreciate that because our podcasts are a labor of love. Take care, guys. We'll see you here. Same time, same place next week. Peace.